Amid the normal attacks against migrants, the media and Kamala Harris, the “highlight” of the afternoon was Robert F. Kennedy Jr. joining Trump on stage after Kennedy dropped his long shot presidential bid and endorsed Trump earlier in the day. Amazingly, Kennedy didn’t go too far off the rails in his remarks, though he did veer into anti-vax territory in front of the guy who takes credit for developing the COVID-19 vaccines.
The move may seem weird to some, considering that Kennedy had pondered a run for the Democratic ticket — and that his whole family is littered with famous Democrats — but this is the guy who still has a dead worm in his brain and who admitted to dumping a bear carcass in New York’s Central Park because he thought it’d be funny. While historic, his endorsement is maybe not the most impressive.
In addition to Kennedy, many top Arizona Republicans at all levels of government took the stage in an event that felt more like a rock concert or WWE match than a political rally. Three congressmen — Reps. Eli Crane, Andy Biggs and Paul Gosar — spoke, as did U.S. House candidate Abe Hamadeh and Senate hopeful Kari Lake. If tweeted photos of the event are to be believed, Lake may have overstayed her welcome.
A story in 3 parts. @KariLake #TrumpRally pic.twitter.com/HJLcZs1I0w
— Chais (@chais_g) August 24, 2024
Once Lake finally left the stage, Trump entered to strains of “God Bless America,” standing awkwardly for a solid minute while the song wrapped up. He surely was thrilled to see an estimated crowd of 17,000 — about 2,000 more than Harris drew at the same venue earlier this month. It was a throng eager to hear some crazy stuff, from the top of the MAGA ticket all the way down to Maricopa County recorder candidate Justin Heap, who said Harris’ crowd size was altered with artificial intelligence.
Here are the seven craziest things said at Trump’s rally.
Kari Lake: “Coach Larry Lake supplied his players with helmets and shoulder pads. Assistant coach Tim Walz supplied his players with tampons and maxi pads.”
Lake took a shot at Democratic vice presidential candidate Tim Walz, the governor of Minnesota, who has leaned into his moniker as coach during the campaign. Walz served as an assistant football coach during his years as a high school teacher; Lake said her father also was a coach.
As governor, Walz signed a large education bill that took effect early this year. In part, the bill required that menstrual products, such as pads, tampons or other period products, be provided in restrooms regularly used by students in the fourth through 12th grades. Since Walz joined the ticket, that law has quickly turned into a misleading conservative talking point.
While the law says the products "must be available to all menstruating students,” it does not mandate they be provided in boys' bathrooms. The local school districts decide how to implement the law, and 15 of them contacted by CNN said they do not place them in boys' bathrooms.
Rep. Paul Gosar: “With your help, we will send a clear message to Kamala Harris, Hakeem Jeffries, Nancy Pelosi and Mitch McConnell even. You betcha. We are gonna make it clear that we are sick and tired of their progressive green-new-scam policies that are ruining this country.”
Well, one of these is not like the others. McConnell’s a progressive now? The man Democrats love to hate? The guy who helped install the most conservative Supreme Court in history?
No wonder Gosar’s siblings vote against him.
Donald Trump: “I’m gonna sleep with that chart. I love that chart.”
Sleeping with inanimate objects does seem to be a recurring theme of the Donald Trump-J.D. Vance ticket. Then again, looking at that immigration chart probably saved Trump’s life.
Donald, don’t forget Sandra Bullock's wise words at the end of “Speed”: “You know, relationships that start under intense circumstances, they never last."
Donald Trump: “Do you remember Arizona when Sheriff Joe was at the border? You didn't have people coming in. I think one year he had one person come in, but they got him."
Trump seems to have forgotten in which county Joe Arpaio served as sheriff. Or maybe his grasp of Arizona’s geography isn’t great. While Arpaio certainly made a name for himself by racially profiling Latinos in Maricopa County, he wasn’t catching many people as they crossed the border, which Arpaio’s jurisdiction did not touch.
Donald Trump: “Charlie, have you ever been sued by old people for not accepting them?”
Trump was speaking to Charlie Kirk, the founder of Turning Point USA, which hosted the event. Kirk didn’t answer, though it's worth noting that two Turning Point members were charged with assaulting a queer Arizona State University professor.
Donald Trump: “Criminals are walking into stores — mean, nasty guys, rough guys. And they take out their calculators, and they calculate it.”
Acting out the movements and creating a little voice for his criminal character, Trump was speaking about California’s Proposition 47 from 2014, which reclassified low-level crime, such as petty theft, as misdemeanors instead of felonies.
Trump attributed the proposition to Harris and said, “She had a policy, if you steal less than $950, you’re allowed to keep it, they’re not gonna prosecute,” none of which is true.
Donald Trump: “They say, 'Hamas has decided not to negotiate,' because what they want back are the hostages. And I think those hostages, for the most part, aren't around anymore. And so they said, ‘Oh boy, we can’t really negotiate because we don’t have the hostages.'”
In one mind-blowingly insensitive moment, Trump sent a wave of silence over the generally boisterous crowd by suggesting that all hostages taken by Hamas on Oct. 7 are dead and implying that ceasefire negotiations are pointless. Israel rescued four hostages as recently as June, though it killed 270 Gazans in the process.
Before Trump was done with his speech, a stream of people headed for the exits. Sadly, that meant they missed Trump dancing — or “dancing” — to “YMCA.”