Best Religious Nuttery 2024 | Anthony Kern | Megalopolitan Life | Phoenix
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Best Religious Nuttery

Anthony Kern

When it comes to old-fashioned, moon-howlin' political and religious extremism, Arizona boasts an embarrassment of mostly right-wing riches. From former Sheriff Joe Arpaio to cuckoo-for-Cocoa-Puffs Kari Lake, the Grand Canyon State rivals Alabama and Florida for public paragons of all kinds of goofball nuttery. This year, one stunt elevated Republican state Senator Anthony Kern to the top of the heap when it comes to crackpot spirituality: leading a group of religious wackadoodles as they knelt and spoke in tongues while praying on the Senate floor. As a half-dozen antiabortion fanatics jabbered in gibberish, their hands touching the Great Seal of the State of Arizona emblazoned on the carpet before the empty dais of the Senate president, Kern moaned in religious ecstasy, "Lord, right now, we ask thee to release the presence of the Lord in the Senate chamber." Better known for his presence at the Jan. 6, 2021, insurrection at the U.S. Capitol and for being part of the fake electors scheme to overthrow the 2020 election in favor of Donald Trump, Kern clearly had outdone himself in his newfound religious lunacy. What's next? Handling snakes on the Senate lawn? Dispensing Flavor Aid to passersby a la Jim Jones? Casting demons out of Gov. Katie Hobbs? Sheesh. Give that man a straitjacket before he hurts someone.

Best Act of Crass Favoritism

Rachel Mitchell

A good way to wind up dead in the Valley of the Sun is to barricade yourself in your home with a gun and a bottle of Don Julio and point said firearm at the po-po when they show up.That's what happened in January 2022 when former Arizona prisons honcho Charles Ryan reportedly sucked down a half-bottle of tequila and started playing with his pistol. His wife called the Tempe police, and during the resulting standoff, Ryan pointed his gun at two officers. If he'd been anyone else, he'd be enjoying a dirt nap right now. But the cops didn't kill Ryan, and Ryan was later arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and misconduct with a weapon. Maricopa County Attorney Rachel Mitchell's office allowed Ryan to plead guilty to the former and receive probation as part of a generous plea deal. The Tempe officers involved thought Ryan had committed aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, a class 3 felony with a mandatory prison sentence of five to 15 years. But Mitchell's top flack told the press that since Ryan was blotto, he could not form the necessary "intent" to commit a crime. Mitchell denied she'd given Ryan a "sweetheart" plea deal. But let's face it, if Ryan had been Joe Sixpack — and survived the confrontation — Mitchell's prosecutors would've made sure he spent serious time in a cell under the prison.

Best Act of Courage

Eva Burch

In March, during the heated and still-ongoing debate over abortion access (or lack thereof) in Arizona, state Senator Eva Burch rose to tell her colleagues that she was pregnant and was planning to have an abortion. Surrounded by other legislators, the Mesa Democrat explained that she didn't think "people should have to justify their abortions," but that she was choosing to do so, "because I want us to be able to have meaningful conversations about the reality of how the work that we do in this body impacts people in the real world." Burch, a nurse practitioner, has two sons, but she also has a history of miscarriages, she explained. She recently discovered that her current pregnancy was not viable. She discussed how she was not able to obtain an emergency abortion in the past when she began to miscarry, and she did not want to go through a miscarriage again. She told the Senate that Arizona abortion law forced her to go through a series of hoops, including having to go through an unnecessary ultrasound. Video of Burch's act of incredible courage soon went viral, with Burch receiving a phone call from Vice President Kamala Harris, who praised Burch's speech. Burch is now a hero of the pro-choice movement, and rightly so.

Best Political Parasite

Charlie Kirk

Charlie Kirk, the founder of Turning Point USA, is a one-man wrecking crew whose organization has surpassed the Arizona Republican Party in influence. The 30-year-old pro-MAGA wunderkind started Turning Point in 2012 at age 18, transforming it over time into a fundraising juggernaut, with a reported $39.2 million in revenue in 2020. Turning Point's political nonprofit, Turning Point Action, is pouring millions of dollars into a national get-out-the-vote effort aimed at returning former President Donald Trump to power. Turning Point's success has made Kirk a popular and wealthy man. According to the Associated Press, Kirk earns a yearly salary of $407,000 and lives in a "$4.75 million Spanish-style estate" that is "tucked away in a gated Arizona country club that charges nearly a half-million dollars for a golf membership." Haters gonna hate, but Kirk's rise has come at the expense of the traditionally cash-poor Arizona GOP and the old-school conservatives that used to be its power brokers. Now, Kirk's organizations play kingmaker in Republican primaries, but those candidates, such as Turning Point darling Kari Lake, can be flops in general elections, where extremist election-denial rhetoric is a turn-off for voters. If Trump flounders come November, the Turning Point brand will be tarnished, though Kirk will have made bank nonetheless.

Best Enemy of Progress

Tom Horne

How did former Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne go from being synonymous with political corruption to besting rising Democratic star Kathy Hoffman in the 2022 race for state Superintendent of Public Instruction? Chalk it up to name recognition, the short attention span of the public and a not-ready-for-prime-time Arizona Democratic Party, which failed to inform voters of Horne's seedy past — a past this paper has documented at length. The nearly 80-year-old Elmer Fudd lookalike previously served as state Superintendent from 2003 to 2011 before moving on to the AG's office. During that tenure, Horne waged a race-baiting war on bilingual education and Mexican American ethnic studies programs. Now back in Arizona's educational catbird seat, Horne's up to his old tricks, backing a failed lawsuit to stop Spanish-English dual language immersion classes and supporting the inclusion in schools of materials authored by the uber-conservative educational outlet PragerU. Horne shouldn't be in that office, and hopefully he's not reelected in 2026. That is, if the Democrats can finally get their act together and trounce this far-right fossil.

Best Failure to Protect and Serve

Gilbert Police Department

Gilbert police officers often were called to the In-N-Out Burger at SanTan Village Parkway and East Williams Field Road to deal with crowds of rowdy teens, who sometimes brandished brass knuckles and went on violent rampages, posting the attacks on social media. Yet Chief Michael Soelberg and his officers never noticed. It took reporting by the Arizona Republic to stitch things together and embarrass police and prosecutors, who acted as if they'd never scrolled through TikTok. Even then, Soelberg blamed the victims for failing to alert police and continued for weeks with a tone-deaf approach to teen violence in the affluent Phoenix suburb. Gilbert police made their first arrests in the Gilbert Goons violence in January, about a month after the Republic did the investigative work for them. But even then, Gilbert police fumbled, announcing just one arrest and insisting that no others had been made. Only when the Republic provided documents showing three other arrests did police acknowledge that, oh yeah, they cuffed those folks, too. The controversy over teen violence and the city's handling of it prompted Mayor Brigette Peterson to end her reelection campaign. It's a wonder Soelberg has remained in place.

Best Show Trial

Austin Davis

As homelessness hits all-time highs in the Valley, the city of Tempe dogged poet, organizer, activist and giver of food Austin Davis for actually trying to help unhoused people instead of letting them die on the streets in a nightmare. The city brought Davis into court for not getting its approval to organize feedings, resulting in a plea deal in September. It also hauled him into jail for stepping on city parks after he was banned. But members of the community rose up to run the feedings and help people get into detox programs or find housing. The city wanted to bring Davis into submission and show its muscle, all to ensure the homelessness problem cannot be helped or receive actual grassroots community attention. It was a battle of bureaucracy and laws and rules and the power of government and the police state against the kindness of the human spirit and all its imperfections. Austin Davis' battle was a light upon the city's corporate priorities. Tempe is led by Mayor Corey Woods, who wanted nothing to do with the Davis battle and has deflected any responsibility in his city's siccing the dogs on the 24-year-old poet.

Best Local Newsletter

Arizona Agenda

For more than three years, the reader-supported Arizona Agenda has delivered a political digest to inboxes almost every weekday on Substack, covering issues, races, players and shenanigans with a down-to-earth attitude and keen eye for bullshit (even the Washington Post said so). Thanks to its lack of jargon and uncluttered prose, everyone can easily understand what our elected officials are up to. That's worth a medal itself, but it's commendable that they do so much with so little. Cofounder Hank Stephenson this year lost his co-editor Rachel Leingang, who moved to Minneapolis, but he landed Nicole Ludden, who's just as smart and savvy. The pair distill big stories from other outlets (while properly crediting their fellow journos) and does a staggering amount of original reporting, putting everything from city councils to the state Legislature and the governor's office under their magnifying glass. They've been extra busy this year leading up to elections; they're obviously out to eradicate the excuse of "I didn't vote because I'm not informed." Most content is free, but it's well worth the paltry subscription price to support these indefatigable Fourth Estate champions.

Best Source for LGBTQ+ News

Lookout Phoenix

Nonprofit news site Lookout Phoenix doesn't mess around with the fluffy LGBTQ+ stuff. They dig in, providing accountability-driven queer news and community events in a city that's long overdue for it. And they don't just publish on their own website, they provide it for free to media outlets that want to share it. They call out conversion therapists who work without licenses, candidates who cozy up to anti-LGBTQ+ causes, cops who still struggle to treat queer people with dignity and Republicans who are trying to kill the small businesses that host drag shows. Investigative journalist Joseph Darius Jaafari, the editor-in-chief, and Executive Director Jake Hylton launched the outlet in 2023 as a newsletter, later adding a website and quarterly zine. Their work made a mark: The American Journalism Project awarded them $400,000 to help develop this new local news brand. But while their important journalism is free to readers, it's not cheap to produce. So they continue to seek grants and donations from readers to continue their sorely needed work.

Best TV Station for Local News

ABC15 Arizona

Rising above the clatter of local TV news is tough, thanks to the drumbeat of endless weather dramatics, senseless crime and fringe politicians touting their latest conspiracy theories. But the station manages to do it, helped by an investigations unit that pulls no punches and a data guru who combats misinformation with facts. ABC15 — a.k.a. KNXV-TV — launched in 1979 but didn't get into local news until 1994, quickly garnering critical acclaim. In recent years, the station carved out its investigative reporting niche with scoops, including ones about Phoenix police misconduct, problems with licensed midwives and horrible conditions in the state's prisons. Keep up with ABC15's latest journalism by following Davd Biscobing, the station's chief investigative reporter, on social media. And while you're online, you should also follow Garrett Archer, who's been at the station since 2019. He joined ABC15 after a stint as a senior elections analyst at the Arizona Secretary of State's office. Archer built an almost cultlike following on social media in 2018 with his catchphrase "Maricopa incoming" to announce election results as they dribbled out. He's a data savant with a zest for swatting down election deniers with actual facts and logic. Since election deniers have only gotten louder in the state since 2020, his X feed is both entertaining and informative.

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