Best Pair Of Double Entendres In A Local TV Newscast 2001 | KPNX News 12 | People & Places | Phoenix
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Best Pair Of Double Entendres In A Local TV Newscast

KPNX News 12

Several months after 14-year-old Sean Botkin was arrested for holding a classroom full of Glendale elementary school students hostage at gunpoint, the boy's mother talked to reporters about his upcoming trial. An optimistic Cary Botkin said Sean's lawyer hoped to persuade the court to try her son as a juvenile, rather than as an adult, because that strategy represented "our best shot."

Later in the same broadcast, Lin Sue Cooney offered an update on an effort to remove Tempe Mayor Neil Giuliano from office: Among other charges, the openly gay politico was under fire for pulling city employees' support of the United Way, which funds the anti-gay Boy Scouts of America. Commenting on Giuliano's reaction to the recall movement, Cooney told viewers that the mayor "will not go down without a fight."

Best Tempe-to-downtown Shortcut

State Road 153

We're trusting you not to spoil this, to tell only whom you must: The recently constructed SR 153 takes you from University Drive at Priest, past Sky Harbor Airport, and over to Washington Street at 44th Street in less than two minutes with zero traffic. That's it. We sometimes weave from one side of this three-lane highway to the other, just because we can. Its traffic sign announces "Sky Harbor Airport," throwing off commuters who are unaware of the pot-o'-downtown-access gold awaiting them on this road less traveled. Beware -- there's a decoy that still tricks us during some bleary-eyed mornings: Just one block east of University's 153 entrance, there's a ramp to the 143 -- a potentially fatal error that launches you straight into the road-rage hell of Interstate 10.

Best Place To Have A Seinfeld Experience

Kohnie's

On Seinfeld, Elaine was so smitten by the Soup Nazi's offerings that she withstood his abuse and capricious behavioral requirements. We won't go so far as to imply a Scone Nazi exists in the Valley, but let's just say you do what you have to do to get what you need at Kohnie's. Kohnie's scones are so good -- they're usually gone by 8 a.m. -- that they tend to inspire irrational loyalty and perseverance in customers. Kohnie, the proprietor, is gleefully unapologetic when he runs out of scones or whatever else you're craving. A "regular" who walks in after you will get served first -- you got a problem with that? And then there's the matter of the no-man's-land time between breakfast and lunch when you can't have either. Just a bowl of granola, please? I can see it from here, sitting in that jar, no cooking needed, you plead. Nope, breakfast is over, Kohnie grunts. Okay, what about a sandwich? No can do, says Kohnie triumphantly; lunch doesn't start for 20 more minutes. Defeated, you walk away. You'd better learn the rules if you want to eat here. (But once you do, it's worth it.)

Best Place To Find Buddha

Oriental Factory Direct

Looking for a god? Any god? For just $2, you can have your own Buddha -- or choose from a plethora of other gods immortalized in wood, plastic, porcelain and brass at the Oriental Factory Direct. Among the weird statuettes are pudgy, baby-faced kung-fu fighters donning sunglasses and cute little deadly weapons. For quiet but constant affirmation, try one of the "bobble-head" dolls in traditional Chinese costume. Their big heads are on springs, so the slightest breeze sends them nodding every which way. Quirky items are side by side with beautiful silk dresses and intricate jewelry. The outlet also has a robust collection of Asian books, videos, DVDs and music. Whether you're looking for a path to enlightenment or just a cool frock to wear next Saturday night, you'll find it here.

Best College For A Major In Jin Shin Jyutsu

Southwest Institute of Healing Arts

Ancient Chinese secret, huh? Last year, the Southwest Institute of Healing Arts became an officially accredited college, offering diplomas in Therapeutic Massage, Western Herbalism and -- our favorite -- Oriental Bodywork. In the Institute's hallowed halls of healing, you can enroll in classes such as "Chinese Face Reading" and the always popular "Chi Gung for the Spine: Bend the Bow and Shoot the Arrow." Tuition ranges from $800 for a hypnotherapy degree to $8,000 to become a Master Massage Practitioner. Which beats heck -- but only barely -- out of Arizona State University's liberal arts program.

Best Alternative To Kiddy Music

KBAQ-FM 89.5

Nothing against Raffi, who surely means well, but his and other children's CDs are really not meant for adult ears. So tell your tiny tot to just grow up . . . because we happen to live in a city with a really topnotch classical radio station. Let your tyke listen to KBAQ. Often. Besides being a lovely and peaceful alternative to Raffi or the Toy Story 2 soundtrack, it's a fantastic source for bedtime lullaby music. And once the kids are about 12, just see who's smarter: yours, or the ones down the street who've been listening to "The Wheels on the Bus" for the last decade.

Best Place To Buy A Baby Gift

Pure Style Kids

We love the fact that Pure Style Kids is just across the breezeway from Three Dog Bakery -- a shop offering the ultimate indulgences for Fido. Those of you making the transition from Dog Mom to Real Mom will find it much easier after a trip through Pure Style Kids.

This place is enough to cure any new mother of the worst postpartum depression -- until she gets the Visa bill. That's why we recommend the baby gift registry, so others can do the buying for you.

The small store is packed with every infant (well, mommy) indulgence imaginable, from vintage fabrics to original artwork to hand-knit booties -- each item perfectly detailed, in impeccable taste. There are even sections devoted to stationery and gardening, for those moms who have everything else under control. Hard-to-find, top-of-the-line brands such as Amy Coe, Clacone and Steiff are featured.

Even Martha would approve.

Best Place To Rent Baby Gear

Baby Boom Rentals

How can one small person require so much stuff? Traveling with an infant requires more gear than a rock concert -- babies should have their own roadies to help them set up when they arrive for a vacation at Grandma's house. With Baby Boom Rentals, a visiting entourage can bring just the bare essentials. This company delivers equipment across the Valley for daily, weekly or monthly use. Everything is fully sterilized, of course. They've got the basics: A full-size crib, high chair and deluxe stroller are $49 per week. They've got the extras, too: baby bathtubs, bouncy seats, swings, potty chairs, toys and rocking chairs. We particularly like the safety items Grandma is sure not to have: safety gates, car seats and monitors. It sure makes having a baby -- anytime, anywhere -- a whole lot easier.

Best Hangout For The 18-and-under Crowd

Ahwatukee Foothills Towne Center

A small but hip section of this unassuming strip mall comes alive on Friday nights with teens and preteens sporting big shoes and baggy shorts. In addition to the 24-screen AMC theater with valet parking, there's Coffee Society for non-alcoholic, caffeinated refreshment. As You Wish can keep artistic hands busy with a paintbrush and a piece of unfinished pottery. Barnes & Noble Booksellers offers a literary escape from the dizzying trendiness outdoors, and Neo Tokyo and Rubio's Baja Grill serve up fast-but-fulfilling fare even for a teen with a tiny allowance. Security guards usually hang by the misters to help keep everything cool while kids sip sodas and gawk at each other's new roller-shoes, and the whole shebang shuts down by a parentally pleasing 11 p.m. on weekends.

Best Video Arcade

Video Roundup

Whether you're partial to that sweet young thing from the '80s, Ms. Pac-Man, or you need to burn up a little testosterone with Virtua Cop 2, you can conquer the universe of your choice at Video Roundup, an independently owned video arcade that's been around for more than a decade. Novice players will appreciate the back room full of old-school games, while serious gamers will find the most current recreational technology. Non-video-game heads can play at the Tetris or Solitaire stations; pinball wizards can get a finger-flipping workout on an impressive array of machines; and for a more aerobic experience, there's air hockey, foosball or billiards at one of 27 pool tables. We dare you to have more fun for so little money.

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