This weekend’s Bizarre Bazaar in Phoenix is the place to get kinky

As the great Rihanna once said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me."

If you're inclined to agree, the place to be this weekend is Bizarre Bazaar, a kink-themed event hosted by Arizona Power Exchange, a nonprofit organization that provides education, social opportunities and support for people interested in the BDSM lifestyle.

From 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday, anyone age 18 and up can stop by the event to shop for goods from more than 30 vendors; see demonstrations of techniques like caning and needle play; and attend education sessions on topics such sexual health and nonmonogamy. There's also a raffle held by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence; proceeds will be split between APEX and the Sisters' work on LGBTQ+ causes.

Amy Loen, a member of the APEX executive committee, says Bizarre Bazaar is "adult fun, kink-friendly and a great atmosphere."

Many of the vendors are local, including Lycan Loot, which sells fetish, goth and rave gear; Phoenix 42 Creations, which makes rope and other bondage implements; Blood Bay Bags, which sells cuffs, harnesses and other BDSM accessories; and Nadia Vanilla, who produces kink-themed art.

"It’s an all-day fun affair," Loen says, "and everything is toned down a little bit because we are open to everyone 18-plus. It’s a little edgier than our fall event, but it’s still pretty tame and that’s because we’re open to the community and we want to be friendly."

First-timers should know that they can wear whatever they want, as long as it's street-legal.

"All your pink bits have to be covered," Loen says, but besides that, "Have fun with your outfit. Whatever is going to make you comfortable, but generally I would say go like you’re going to the bar. There’ll be people who will be way extreme, but you’ll feel comfortable in your jeans and a T-shirt. There are plenty of people who show up in jeans and a T-shirt for the day, and there are plenty of us who dress in more fetish attire. But we end up with attire across the spectrum, and that is fantastic."

Also, anyone planning to attend hoping to hook up or watch people engage in sexual activity will be disappointed — Bizarre Bazaar is not that kind of party.

"We are a sex-positive club, but at an open-to-community event there is not going to be any sexual activity at all," Loen explains.

Other rules include: no mind-altering substances like drugs or alcohol, and consent is mandatory for all kinds of contact.

"We expect consent for everything from giving someone a hug to anything beyond, like touching people," Loen says. "It’s a consent-based culture. We expect you to ask first."

In a day and age when anyone can pop into a chain adult shop or buy a paddle off Amazon, Loen says there are a number of solid reasons to shop for adult items at an event such as Bizarre Bazaar.

"Well, first of all, quality of the toy. You’re less likely to end up with a toy that’s going to fall apart after five times of use,
 she says. "It’s more likely to hold up because it’s kinksters making these things, so they’ve been tested. I want more than five uses out of it."

She adds that the variety of items you'll find at Bizarre Bazaar far outpaces a mainstream adult shop, and the goods there "are very much novelty items. The things that I own and are in my toy bag that I buy at Bizarre Bazaar are much longer-term, hold up and are made by kinksters supporting other kinksters."

There's a lot less stigma around identifying as a kinkster these days. Though "50 Shades of Grey" is generally understood to be a fairly unrealistic (and poorly written) depiction of a BDSM relationship, Loen says that the book and movie series helped a lot of people to have less shame about the topic of kink and things they like to do.

"More people are open — the younger people especially are much more open and they have a better grasp earlier about consent culture, which is super-helpful. I believe that '50 Shades of Grey' brought a lot of new people into the community because it made people feel less ashamed of things they were doing in their bedrooms and they didn’t necessarily have a lot of education on. And so overall, it has increased awareness and I think that’s a really good thing. It’s allowed a lot of people to come out and discuss it," she says.

Indeed, Loen is a real-estate agent who bills herself as a "kink-friendly poly Realtor" to serve clients who "want to have a Realtor who’s more comfortable with what they’re doing."

Bizarre Bazaar isn't just a place to learn about kink; attendees can also learn about APEX and how to become involved. The organization holds dozens of events each month, from book clubs and game nights to roundtable discussions on dominance and submission, educationals on whips and floggers and dungeon parties.

Almost all APEX events are only available to members; information on how to become a member is available on the website.

But even if an APEX membership isn't in your future, Loen encourages anyone interested in the topic of kink to stop by Bizarre Bazaar.

"It's a great way to dip your toes into the kink community, and for those of us who have been in it longer, it’s a great way to stock your toy bag and support your community," she says.

Bizarre Bazaar. 10 a.m to 4 p.m. Saturday, March 16. Arizona Power Exchange, 4006 S. 23rd St., #10. Cost is $20 at the door. For ages 18 and up. Visit the APEX website for more information.