Megalopolitan Life >>

• BEST CLOTHES FOR PHAT BOYS
  Clothing City Today's Fashions
  Husky hepcats in search of fly threads or the latest in alt-rock wear at the local big and tall store usually wind up fat outta luck. Try finding a catchy club shirt that doesn't smack of tackiness -- it's an exercise in fat-boy futility. So if you're living large and look more like Jack Black... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO PIMP YOUR RIDE
  Big Boyz Toys
  Hey, couch potato, flip off MTV and make your own dream come true. If you're looking to boost your Mack Daddy attack arsenal, Big Boyz Toys is your artillery headquarters. Big Boyz Toys boosts the bad-ass factor with a full line of custom body kits and graphics, dash accessories, lights and... More >>
• BEST SHRINE
  Northeast corner of 12th Street and McDowell
  Driving the streets of Phoenix doesn't seem so mundane when we pass through the intersection of 12th Street and McDowell. Since 2000, a shrine made up of three white wooden crosses has been lovingly maintained on the dirt lot across the street from Banner Good Samaritan Hospital, honoring three... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO LOSE A PAYCHECK THIS SIDE OF VEGAS
  Casino Arizona at Talking Stick
  Ever since the drive to Las Vegas got speedier when U.S. 60 went four-lane, local cardsharps have had more of a reason to skip town for Sin City. But why risk becoming another roadside cross when the Salt River Pimas have all sorts of ways to separate you from your weekly wages? With two casinos... More >>
• BEST WAY TO PICK UP SOME CASH
  Hill Top Research
  Ever wonder why that solid antiperspirant works so well? Because some kind, sweaty soul was willing to try it out for you first, to guarantee it won't cause a heinous rash in a hard-to-reach spot. He got a few bucks for his time, and so can you. Hill Top Research, a national product-testing... More >>
• BEST ANTI-CHAIN GANG
  Arizona Chain Reaction
  We know the nice folks from Arizona Chain Reaction are flipping through "Best of" right at this very moment, clutching their heads and shaking their fists whenever they see mention of a chain store or restaurant. Sorry, guys, we tried to keep it to a minimum -- but sometimes bigger is better.... More >>
• BEST REASON TO READ THE EAST VALLEY TRIBUNE
  The Vent
  Some mornings, reading the daily paper just feels like a chore. For a treat, we turn to The Vent. It's a simple concept: just a column down the side of the editorial page of the Tribune, devoted to the rants of readers who call a dedicated phone line and, well, vent. Random excerpts from the... More >>
• BEST QUASI-CELEB SIGHTING
  Ivan Makil and Annette Alvarez at Trader Joe's
  He used to be president of the Salt River Pima-Maricopa Indian Community. She used to, um, work for Governor Fife Symington. We'd heard they were an item, but we'd never seen them together until one night around Valentine's Day, when we spotted them together in the Camelback Trader Joe's. It was... More >>
• BEST DICK
  Jason Rose
  Jason Rose is not a shy fellow. And he doesn't shy away from controversy -- he shills for the likes of Joe Arpaio and Andrew Thomas. But we hear that even Mr. Rose was blushing when his latest personal PR campaign went, well, flaccid. Rose ran a half-page ad in the Arizona Capitol Times -- a... More >>
• BEST POLITICIAN
  Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon
  Phil Gordon is truly a pig in shit. This guy was dying to be the mayor of Phoenix for as long as we can remember, and now that he's got the title, we've gotta say -- he hasn't screwed up yet. Actually, he's done some good, steering downtown development away from sports and demonstrating a real... More >>
• BEST POLITICIAN WE HATE TO SEE LEAVE OFFICE
  State Representative Deb Gullett
  Technically, Deb Gullett represents north central Phoenix in the Arizona Legislature. But in her relatively brief time in office, she did a lot of good for the whole state, demonstrating again and again that she's not afraid to stand up to special interests and fight for what's right. This year,... More >>
• BEST LOCAL RON BURGUNDY
  Ron Hoon
  They're so vain, every anchorman probably thought this flick was about them. Certainly the Valley's morning news crews bought into the PR hoopla surrounding the summer's Will Ferrell comedy Anchorman, like so many slow-on-the-uptake short people thanking Randy Newman for the musical tribute. The... More >>
• BEST LOCAL BARBERSHOP
  Another Level Barber & Beauty Shop
  As the Barbershop movies made clear, often the best place for black folks to get in on some free-flowing gossip, boisterous political debate and, occasionally, a good haircut is the community barbershop. In the Phoenix area, however, it's hard enough to find a stylist who knows the difference... More >>
• BEST TV REPORTER
  Lew Ruggiero
  We hate to be so blunt, but we've gotta say it: Get those poor print reporters out of the TV studio and let them write their stories. Then we'll have more time to watch Lew Ruggiero. Lew is the smartest, hardest-working, best-prepared reporter on local television, and, let's face it, this is a... More >>
• BEST TV NEWSCASTER
  John Hook
  John Hook is the best thing about TV news in the Valley, and he's the best thing about Fox, period. We like him because we can tell he's smart, that he understands the news he's reading. We like him because he avoids the goofiness of his colleagues on other local stations. And most of all, we... More >>
• BEST NEWS RADIO
  KJZZ-FM 91.5
  We feel like we have a personal relationship with Dennis Lambert, which is how we think you should feel about your morning radio host. Sure, we've let Howard Stern into the car on occasion, even flirted with the boys at KTAR, but when we want to know what's going on in the Valley -- and, as an... More >>
• BEST RADIO TALK-SHOW HOST
  Mike Newcomb
  Dr. Mike Newcomb isn't content with healing the sick. He's on a mission to heal the country, if he can, one radio show at a time. Newcomb's progressive, liberal radio show On Second Thought began last summer and has quickly expanded from its initial hourlong time slot in the morning to three... More >>
• BEST PRO SPORTS TEAM
  Arizona Rattlers, Arena Football
  It's an unusual year in the Valley when not one of its four so-called major sports franchises enjoys even modest success. But while neither the Suns, D-Backs, Coyotes, nor Cardinals (as usual) could muster more wins than losses in the past 12 months, the Arizona Rattlers made their case to reign... More >>
• BEST PRO ATHLETE
  Randy Johnson
  Just when Amare Stoudemire had become the crown prince of the Valley sports market, Randy Johnson proved that the king has yet to leave the building. With the Big Unit's perfect game in May against the Atlanta Braves -- in which he set down, in order, all 27 batters he faced, while striking out... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO BE A YANKEES HATER
  Foster's Seafood
  This authentic New England seafood house could easily be the best place to love the Boston Red Sox, but we figured being a BoSox fan and a Yankees hater were synonymous, and given the D-Backs' pummeling of the Yanks in the 2001 World Series, it's more universal to hate the Evil Empire. Owner... More >>
• BEST HIGH-END WORKOUT
  The Phoenician's Centre for Well-Being
  Abs of steel? We prefer a more natural look: abs of granite. We sculpt them at the Phoenician, where the glitzy Centre for Well-Being spa goes back to basics with its new "Nature's Gym" outdoor obstacle course. Starting at the base of Camelback Mountain, the all-natural workout finds fitness... More >>
• BEST LOW-END WORKOUT
  Lincoln Family Phoenix Downtown YMCA
  Who wants to dress to impress for a workout? Who wants to pay big bucks for the privilege of getting sweaty in public? And who really thinks that prestige matters when it comes to pumping iron? Nobody here, obviously. The Y is an ego-free oasis of self-improvement, and if its diverse membership... More >>
• BEST SPA
  Camelback Inn Resort and Spa
  Like any worthy Paradise Valley woman, the Spa at the Camelback Inn had a lot of face work done recently. And, boy, does she look good. Even when her locker room was a little run-down, Camelback Inn still ran the best spa. We've always loved the tranquil pool area, the thick white terry robes,... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO BUY VINYL HIP-HOP
  Swell Records
  Since Swell's merger with the more commercial Spin Records earlier this year, the shop's become the hands-down only place to go whether you're looking to drop the new Jay-Z joint into your next set, or you're in need of some underground breakbeats to juggle. Scope Swell's vintage section if... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO GET A CUP OF COFFEE ON MILL AVENUE
  Three Roots Coffee House
  We were delighted to find this gem of a coffee house, nestled beside a frame shop across the street from Arizona State University. Three Roots has all the ingredients of the perfect college coffee house. There are plenty of comfortable places to sit, including tables for laptops and couches for... More >>
• BEST BOUTIQUE HOTEL
  The James Hotel
  Any place where Jaime Pressly, Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton have dirtied the sheets, we're sold on. Since this precious, modernist boutique hotel opened in Old Town Scottsdale earlier this year, it's been a magnet for the elite, the famous, the rich and the beautiful. Other than the lovelies... More >>
• BEST YOUTH HOSTEL
  Metcalf House
  They leave well-rested, well-nourished and well-traveled. But at Metcalf House, a hostel that's more like a home, guests sometimes leave almost as much behind. The historic hostel is on Ninth Street between Portland and Roosevelt, and part of its charm resides not only within the wood and... More >>
• BEST ARCADE
  Golfland-Sunsplash
  All true arcade rats know an arcade is only as good as its service technician. Joysticks get jiggly, DDR dance pads crack, and occasionally a sore loser will even take a swing at a defenseless video screen. When games go bad, gamers go elsewhere -- unless the arcade has a tireless technician... More >>
• BEST BOWLING CENTER
  Jillian's Hi Life Lanes
  Every amusement at Jillian's is ridiculously expensive. A single game of air hockey will cost you a whopping two dollars; premium games like Hyperbowl will set you back a five-spot. Heck, even Ms. PacMan can't be had for less than a dollar. So it's a mystery how the price-jacking demons managed... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO CATCH A RISING WWE SUPERSTAR
  Impact Zone Wrestling at The Sets
  The world of wrestling -- um, we mean sports entertainment -- is not unlike the realm of baseball, at least when it comes to tapping new blood. Each has its own version of the big time (World Wrestling Entertainment and Major League Baseball) and an underlying stratum of regional farm clubs... More >>
• BEST INDOOR RACING
  F1 Race Factory
  Like just about everything else once dismissed as silly kid stuff, go-karts have raced into the mainstream of grown-up extreme sports. The F1 Race Factory, bordering the Tempe gateway just south of 48th Street and Washington, requires a valid driver's license to race its modified European karts... More >>
• BEST CURE FOR ROAD RAGE
  Bob Bondurant School of High Performance Driving
  At the Bondurant School of High Performance Driving, there are several ways yours can become the baddest ass on the road. Bob Bondurant has been teaching Phoenicians how to drive fast and furious since 1990, and offers a variety of driving courses designed to improve skills. The "Executive... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO SEE A DRAG RACE
  SCO Nights at Firebird International Raceway
  Firebird's Sports Compact Only events, usually held on the last Saturday of each month, are the soft-core version of the illegal street drags that have become harder and harder to find on the over-patrolled streets of Phoenix. Stunnas show off their tricked-out body kits and flaming decals,... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO SEE A DRAG SHOW
  The Sunday Night "She-Lounge" at E-Lounge
  So you've just watched The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar back to back on video and you're wondering where you go to get your drag on in this burg. Well, pull on those pantyhose, girlfriend, tuck in that crank shaft, and head on... More >>
• BEST CLUB FOR HIP-HOP
  O'Mallys Sports, Spirits & Grill
  The introduction of hip-hop nights at the traditionally hard-core rock Mason Jar may be the boldest development of the year -- and promoter Oddy Carter deserves much love for bringing local rap to the land of Sacred Reich and Megadeth. But the Jar's famous no-dress-code policy flies in the face... More >>
• BEST NEW GALLERY
  Bentley Projects
  What a leap of faith for one of Scottsdale's most prestigious contemporary galleries to open a branch in downtown Phoenix -- and aren't we glad they did it. Representing an impressive roster of nationally recognized painters and sculptors from the get-go, Bentley not only makes us optimistic... More >>
• BEST ART HOUSE MOVIE THEATER
  Harkins Camelview 5
  We despaired of ever seeing France's The Triplets of Belleville in a timely manner, but only because we'd forgotten for a moment about Harkins' Camelview 5 in Scottsdale. Shame on us, then, for failing to remember that Camelview is the best place in town to see exclusive, often obscure art and... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO SEE AND BE SEEN ON A FIRST FRIDAY
  Roosevelt Street
  Any time of the year, the first Friday of the month in downtown Phoenix is a circus. Sure, the main event is still the art -- varying dramatically in quality from something you'd see in a New York gallery to "Hey, my kid could do that!" But our favorite thing about the most happenin' night of... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO SEE AND BE SEEN ON A FINAL FRIDAY
  B-Side Gallery
  First Fridays, you'll find us in Phoenix. But final Fridays belong to Tempe, and this is a night that has yet to be tainted by an excess of hype. In other words, you can actually see the work on display by local artists. At the center of Final Friday is Wet Paint, which transforms into B-Side... More >>
• BEST COMEBACK
  The Icehouse
  In its 1990s heyday, the Icehouse was the epicenter of Phoenix rave culture. Legendary parties lasted all night long within the walls of this cavernous downtown space, making it a natural anchor of the art and music communities. Then, as the times changed, so did the nightlife, and the Icehouse... More >>
• BEST STOP ON ART DETOUR
  Garage S.
  Like the Phoenix art scene in general, Art Detour -- that spring weekend where most every gallery in town opens its doors to the masses -- is a mixed bag. Some good, some bad. Some very, very bad. We had a favorite spot this year, partly because the art was so good, but even more because the... More >>
• BEST REASON TO RELIVE THE PAIN OF CATECHISM
  Patti Hannon as Sister in Late Nite Catechism Parts I and II
  Everyone we know who attended Catholic school or had to endure catechism class has horror stories to tell about the nasty nuns. But these same people have been screaming with glee over Patti Hannon, who plays Sister, the ball-busting bride of Christ charged with our ecumenical upkeep in Late... More >>
• BEST REASON TO RECONSIDER YOUR FEAR OF SHAKESPEARE
  Nearly Naked Theatre's Shakespeare's R & J
  By now, we're accustomed to complex, compelling entertainment from this tireless troupe. But Nearly Naked's take on Joe Calarco's smart, sexy Shakespeare's R & J was more than fun to watch -- it made us want to go home and read Twelfth Night. Fortunately for us, an intimate relationship with the... More >>
• BEST REMOUNT
  Desert Stages' Cabaret
  When the nice folks at Desert Stages remounted their rip-snorting production of Kander and Ebb's Cabaret last December, it was a holiday gift to all of us who couldn't get tickets to the show's original sold-out run the summer before. The glory of this particular production is that this... More >>
• BEST DEBUT BY A NEW THEATER
  TheatreScape's Eleemosynary
  With its debut in January, TheatreScape whetted our appetite for more and better community theater productions. The tiny company bowed with Lee Blessing's Eleemosynary, a story of three women -- a mother, her daughter, and her granddaughter the spelling bee champ -- for whom love and resentment... More >>
• BEST WAY TO CHASE THE BREAK-DANCING SCENE
  Furious Stylez Crew or Footklan
  Until recently, the Urban Styles Dance Studio at Tempe's Mill Towne Center was the place to see and be schooled in popping and locking, breaking and capoeira from the Valley's best-known b-boys and girls. Regrettably, the studio closed over the summer because of a lack of support.... More >>
• BEST MICROCINEMA
  No Festival Required
  Much has been said about downtown Phoenix's growing art scene, and film isn't always included in the discussion. But lots of galleries are finding the wall space for screenings, and the granddaddy of them all is No Festival Required. It's become an important presence in the past few years,... More >>
• BEST PAPER DOLL
  Cyndi Coon
  Letter writing is all but dead, thanks to e-mail, and we worry about the fate of Hallmark. Don't tell that to Cyndi Coon, who is on the verge of a smashing success with laboratory5, her line of greeting cards and note cards. The Phoenix artist is truly inspired; her cards are whimsical, funny... More >>
• BEST GHOSTBUSTERS
  Arizona Paranormal Investigations
  They don't carry the ectoplasm-seeking nutrona wands and proton packs of Aykroyd, Murray and company, but Joe and Mikki Shelton of Arizona Trips n Tours and their ever-shifting team of investigators, aspiring parapsychologists, acceleration physicists and just plain ghost nuts are "who you gonna... More >>
• BEST ART COLLECTION
  Phoenix Children's Hospital
  No one wants to go to the hospital, least of all a hospital devoted to kids. But the kind folks at Phoenix Children's Hospital have made their digs a little more bearable with a wonderful, whimsical collection of art created by local artists, often in collaboration with children. The art... More >>
• BEST MURAL
  The Rogue, on display at The Rogue bar
  Many things come to mind when we think of The Rogue, a beloved Scottsdale dive, but "fine art" just isn't one of them. Yet the bar is home to our pick for the Valley's best mural. The painting, by local artist Joseph Oursland, embodies the bar so perfectly, you could almost mistake it for a... More >>
• BEST ALTERNATIVE PERFORMANCE VENUE
  The Paper Heart
  It takes a lot of character to get the same "Best Of" two years in a row. And while we still love the Paper Heart for all the same reasons we did last year -- especially its eclectic variety of free or cheap under-the-radar entertainment, like performance art, poetry slams, comedy shows and... More >>
• BEST ALTERNATIVE TO SNOTTSDALE
  SMoCA Nights
  We're not sure if the body parts here are any less plastic than what you'd find at the typical Scottsdale nightclub, but it's safe to say that the attitudes aren't as fake. After all, this eclectic party at the Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Art is being thrown in the name of art, not action,... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO GET LOADED ON A FRIDAY EVENING
  Ladies' Night at Shooter's World
  Even the most gun-shy gals feel at home on the range at Shooter's World. From 4 to 8 p.m. every Friday, "Arizona's largest indoor shooting facility" fires up for ladies' night, wooing the girls with free range time, free firearm and safety rental, and free instruction; the only cash to cough up... More >>
• BEST UNKNOWN TOURIST ATTRACTION
  Bob Crane's Murder Site
  For those of us who grew up watching Hogan's Heroes and idolizing its star Bob Crane, the site of Crane's murder and his last residence -- Room 132A at the Winfield Apartments in Scottsdale -- is perhaps the Valley's most macabre tourist attraction. Crane was living there while he performed in... More >>
• BEST DRIVE WORTH THE PHOTO RADAR TICKET
  Lincoln Drive between 24th Street and Scottsdale Road
  In this sprawl-happy burg, it's hard to find someplace untouched by the hands of man, where one can flee from reality, if only for a few minutes. If you're like us, you've found an escape route, like the six-mile stretch from Phoenix into Paradise Valley, after dark. As we head east from 24th... More >>
• BEST PHOENICIAN
  Eddie Haramina
  Just about everybody who works in or around the county courthouses in downtown Phoenix knows Eddie Haramina. More important, he knows more about them than they probably would care to admit. Commonly known as "Eddie the Hot Dogger," Haramina has been a fixture in front of the east courthouse at... More >>
• BEST BAKE SALE
  Arizona Roller Derby
  We love a group of girls who strap on roller skates and bust chops. And we love a bake sale. For the past year or so, the women of the Arizona Roller Derby have dolled up in their fishnets and combat boots and taken to the streets of Phoenix to sell their cookies. They're a solid presence on... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO MEET THE DOM OF YOUR DREAMS
  The Den of Iniquity
  You've been a naughty New Times reader, and Mistress Porsche Lynn has just the punishment for you. In a warehouse five miles west of Sky Harbor Airport, the legendary adult-film star -- whose handprints adorn the adult industry's Walk of Fame outside Larry Flynt's Hustler Hollywood store -- has... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO CRASH IF YOU'RE A MILL RAT
  TV Lounge
  It's been a long night of spanging and bumming smokes in front of the Coffee Plantation on Mill Avenue, and now the dawn is breaking. You need some serious sack time, but too bad the cops busted up your squat the night before. Luckily, the cushy red couches in the TV Lounge on the lower level of... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO BUY A DEATH-METAL TEE
  Metal Devastation
  If you're a chubby, pale-skinned teen eager to replace your threadbare Misfits tee with something more likely to shock your already concerned parents, you've come to the right place. The first thing that grabs your attention as you enter the shadowy confines of this hardcore metal CD store and... More >>
• BEST STRETCH OF ADOPT-A-HIGHWAY
  Church of Body Modification
  If you've driven from San Diego to Phoenix, you know there's not much to look at. On a recent summer vacay, we were almost at the end of the road -- Maricopa Road, that is, en route to I-10 -- when we noticed a sign out the window. It was one of those Adopt-A-Highway signs, you know, the kind... More >>
• BEST GRATUITOUS MENTION OF PHOENIX IN THE NATIONAL PRESS
  "Things a Man Should Know About Music: A Guide to 2004"
  Don't get us wrong. We love our city. But we know our limitations. And let's face it, friends, Phoenix is not the nation's music capital. It's not the music capital of the Southwest. It's not even the music capital of Arizona, for crying out loud. That title goes to Tucson. But no one... More >>
• BEST DEVELOPER
  Sloane McFarland
  Sloane McFarland is Phoenix's own renaissance man -- an artist who dabbles in real estate. Usually it's the other way around, but this young man truly applies his aesthetic to everything he does, and, whether he means to or not, is creating community in his hometown. He's best known as the... More >>