Megalopolitan Life >>

• Best View of Mill Avenue From Cyberspace
  Mill Avenue BenchCam
  http://www.spotlife.com/users/ozinaz/webcam/
  Last year, the award in this category went to the city of Tempe's official Web site, which offers wide views of Mill Avenue -- about the only street in the Valley where one regularly witnesses both foot and vehicular traffic. This year, one Mill Avenue worker bee whose office affords an... More >>
• Best Morning-Drive Crybaby
  Dave Smiley
  KZON-FM 101.5, 5:30 to 10 a.m.
  Poor Dave wasn't very Smiley the day we tuned in to the New Guys morning show and heard him turn on the waterworks while reading a "Dear Dave" e-mail his girlfriend sent him. Not since the Hindenburg crash has such tear-drenched humanity dripped out over the airwaves. On hand to catch his... More >>
• Best Waste of Breath
  Teen Abstinence Ads
  Arizona Department of Health Services
  For one week each year, the already sex-soaked cable network MTV becomes MT&A, letting it all hang out for Spring Break, shot at some exotic location and featuring nubile college students humping and grinding and sometimes frolicking in nothing but shaving cream. Suddenly, this year's fun in... More >>
• Best Place to See Truly Baffling Performance Art
  Barlow & Straker Gallery
  1319 East McDowell
  602-271-4570
  Would you expect anything less than bizarre from a gallery named after two vampire antique dealers from a Stephen King novel? Opened in early 1999 by fledgling art czars Ryan McNamara and Andy Guzzanato, Barlow & Straker is the ne plus ultra of local performance spaces -- and it rarely... More >>
• Best Naked Dancing People
  Front of Herberger Theater Center
  222 East Monroe
  Welcoming you to downtown's favorite live theater is a most unusual sight. There you'll find an even dozen men, women and children having a great old time dancing their days and nights away. And not a stitch of clothing on one of 'em. It must keep them young because they've been doing it for... More >>
• Best Balls
  Outside of Bank One Ballpark
  401 East Jefferson
  Just let other cities try to brag about theirs. Boston's ain't nothin' but beans. Philadelphia has a little tinkling bell. New York? Only a shriveled-up old apple core. When you are talking balls, you are talking Phoenix. Not just any balls, either. We are talking big ones. Three feet tall... More >>
• Best Place to Watch a Fashion Shoot
  Anchor Center Three
  2231 East Camelback
  Now you can learn all the exciting ins and outs of this fabulous, high-paced career! If you want to be a model, or just gawk at one, get yourself to this copper-topped office complex, sit at an outdoor table and monitor the action! Most afternoons, you'll see a photographer, usually with a... More >>
• Best Bridge
  Mountain Pass Pedestrian Bridge
  Nisbet Road and State Route 51
  Bridges have been rising out of the ground and spanning new freeways with blurring speed in the past five years. But this one slows the eye to a memorable crawl across the landscape. Its inviting grayish profile of mountain peaks shows us what's new in galvanized chain-link fencing. And the... More >>
• Best Bang for Your Weekend Buck
  Park 'n Swap
  Phoenix Greyhound Park
  3801 East Washington
  602-273-7181
  Going to the dog track needn't cost you a bundle. Just grab your dead presidents and head to Phoenix Greyhound Park for one of the pup palace's legendary weekend swap meets. Each weekend, hundreds of vendors gather to sell all the crap they couldn't unload at their garage sales -- old tools,... More >>
• Best Candidate for a Business Name Change
  Once Upon a Child
  9201 North 29th Avenue
  602-906-9092
  (and 1994 North Alma School, Chandler, 480-963-9092)
  There may be worse names for a store selling used children's clothing, but right now, none to springs to mind. Except, perhaps, Kiddie Worn -- but that would be in really poor taste, wouldn't it? More >>
• Best Spot to Watch Pols Eating Lunch
  Tom's Tavern
  2 North Central
  602-257-1688
  Granted, watching local politicians scarf down a BLT or digging into a caesar salad is not everyone's idea of a great time. If you, however, find yourself in this camp, hie yourself to Tom's Tavern, the pol-spangled trough that is to the Phoenix governmental set what the Brown Derby used to be... More >>
• Best Politician
  U.S. Senator John McCain
  It's been months since the GOP presidential primaries, but those who know him best -- his constituents -- are still slack-jawed at the way Arizona's senior senator was able to capture the hearts, minds and money of America's moderates during the race for the Republican nod. McCain fell short... More >>
• Best Evidence That the System Doesn't Work
  Bill Heywood packs heat at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport
  After a .22-caliber revolver was confiscated from his carry-on bag at Sky Harbor in February, KTAR radio personality Bill Heywood was questioned by airport security but was allowed to make his scheduled flight to New York anyway. Claiming he'd forgotten the weapon was in the bag, Heywood... More >>
• Best Place to Get Rid of Your Brother-in-Law
  Goldfield Ghost Town
  4650 North Mammoth Mine Road, three miles north of Apache Junction via the Apache Trail (Highway 88)
  480-983-0333
  If you think Sheriff Joe has an itchy trigger finger take on due process, try running sideways with the law here in Goldfield. For a mere $10, a friend or family member can have you arrested, jailed, tried and hanged within five minutes by a couple of Old West sheriffs in full regalia and full... More >>
• Best Spanish-Language TV Station
  Telemundo KDRX-TV Channel 64
  602-470-0507
  There are few guilty pleasures on the planet as consistently rewarding as those Spanish-language soap operas known as telenovelas. Unlike their maddeningly dull American counterparts, telenovelas are all-out sexual romps delivered with enough high-octane melodrama to make Charo blush. KDRX,... More >>
• Best Spanish-Language Radio Station
  KNAI-FM 88.3
  602-269-2929
  The surest evidence that the local Hispanic market is experiencing explosive growth can be found on the radio airwaves. In 1999 alone, three new Spanish-language stations joined an already crowded field, which now includes eight stations (not to mention KKFR-FM 92.3, which goes out of its way to... More >>
• Best Sports Talk Host
  Jeff Kennedy
  KDUS-AM 1060
  Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.
  It's part of the cutthroat competitiveness of modern sports talk that every radio jock thinks he has to prove his worth by being a bigger, more abrasive smart-ass than the next guy. It's to Jeff Kennedy's considerable credit that he doesn't bother to play this annoying game. Kennedy, known to... More >>
• Best News Talk Show
  The David Leibowitz Show
  KTAR-AM 620
  David Leibowitz is the smartest guy on local radio. Just ask him. Leibowitz's self-possession notwithstanding, this guy is head and shoulders above the rest of the radio rabble. He's informed, extremely quick and frequently ironic in an otherwise irony-free airspace. His print journalism... More >>
• Best TV Newscast
  NewShow
  KTVK-TV Channel 3
  If you're like us, you're weary of local TV newscasts that somehow manage to be simultaneously stuffy and shallow. It's not like that with KTVK's NewShow, an informal yet informative experiment in local journalism and, yes, infotainment. This hourlong 10 p.m. newscast is led by real news, and... More >>
• Best Radio Personality
  Steve Tingle
  KKFR-FM 92.3
  Misery loves car-poolers. So why suffer rush-hour gridlock alone when you can share the ride with DJ Steve Tingle, whose stock company of phone-prank characters (formerly heard over KEDJ) takes a back seat to no one? Mel Blanc reincarnated, the vocally versatile Tingle regularly tickles... More >>
• Best Pro Athlete
  Jason Kidd
  Phoenix Suns
  The 1999-2000 Phoenix Suns were a gimpy lot. It seemed that a week couldn't go by without a key cog in their lineup pulling up lame and grimacing in agony. But as every hoops aficionado knows, there's a hierarchy to these things. When forward Tom Gugliotta blew out his left knee, people felt... More >>
• Best Pro Sports Team
  Arizona Diamondbacks
  Unlike some cities, Phoenix has never had trouble putting competitive teams on the field. The Suns and the Coyotes have been playoff perennials, and in 1998, even the Cardinals broke a decadelong spell of futility in the desert with a 9-7 record. But, competitive as these franchises are, they... More >>
• Best Team Mascot
  The Arizona Rattlers' Fang
  He doesn't have feathers or wear loud primary colors. He doesn't do an asinine stadium jig that would mortify even the lowest forms of wildlife most mascots emulate. He's Fang, the longhaired, jeans and tee-shirted mascot for the Arizona Rattlers, although no one actually calls him that to his... More >>
• Best Gaffes in a Movie Shot in Phoenix During the Past Year
  "What Planet Are You From?"
  During an early scene in the laugh-challenged Garry Shandling/Annette Bening comedy, one character explains that while he lives in Phoenix, he also has a weekend getaway retreat "up in Scottsdale." Not long after local audiences were still savoring that geographical howler, Shandling visits a... More >>
• Best Creative Outlet for Moms
  Mothers Write
  Writers Voice
  602-252-2530, extension 16
  Having trouble finding inspiration with Barney blaring in the den? Sick of Kool-Aid-sticky computer keys? Junior been using your journal as a coloring book? Hear, hear! Writers Voice can help. The YMCA brain child that has brought fiction, poetry and memoir workshops to the Valley for... More >>
• Best Downtown Alternative Art Space
  Modified
  407 East Roosevelt
  602-252-7664
  The closest thing to a one-stop shop of underground downtown culture is this bare-bones space carved out of an old brick building on Roosevelt. It's strictly an after-dark joint. The lights typically don't go on until 7 p.m. But once they do, the offerings are just as likely to include... More >>
• Best Selection of Ethnic Art
  Arizona State University Art Museum Store
  10th Street and Mill, Tempe
  480-965-9076
  Other than Native American and maybe Mexican art, Phoenix is not exactly a hotbed of ethnic art and artifact shopping. Unless, that is, you scope out the shelves of ASU Art Museum Store, where, for more than 20 years, volunteer manager LaReal Eyring has been bringing the best of the outside... More >>
• Best Student Art
  Art One Gallery
  4120 North Marshall Way, Scottsdale
  480-946-5076
  More of an art incubator than an art barn, gallery owner Kraig Foote's seven-year-old art space gives talented young artists a commercial outlet that few would otherwise have. Most of the painters, sculptors, potters, woodworkers and glass blowers who show here still store their supplies in... More >>
• Best Place to See Art and Meet Him, Too
  Phoenix Art Museum's After Hours
  1625 North Central
  602-257-1880
  Tired of cruising the local bars, cornered by heavily tattooed guys with missing front teeth asking, "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Fed up with meeting chicks with fake body parts? Invest $15 ($10 if you're a museum member) and buy your way into Phoenix Art Museum's After Hours (okay, so it is... More >>
• Best Master's Swimming Team
  Sun Devil Masters
  Mona Plummer Aquatic Center
  Arizona State University
  480-965-4040
  Whether you're just getting your feet wet, training for the Ironman Triathlon or an aging veteran of chlorine-soaked, predawn practices as a kid, Sun Devil Masters offers a challenging program with three workouts a day in a world-class, 50-meter outdoor pool. Former Olympians and NCAA champions... More >>
• Best Place to Indulge Your Fantasies of Being a Chinese Emperor
  COFCO Chinese Cultural Center
  668 North 44th Street
  602-275-8578
  Admittedly, they may seem woefully out of place in the middle of a Southwestern desert, but the well-manicured, classical Chinese gardens here are the next best thing to being in Beijing. Go past the upturned eaves of the COFCO complex's authentic glazed tile roofs (cleverly fashioned to impale... More >>
• Best Argument Against Investigative TV Reporting
  Fox 10 News
  "Were UFOs created by . . . Hitler?! Find out about the Hitler-UFO connection, tonight on Fox 10, right after The X-Files!" No joke, that was an actual teaser from the never-ending series of wonderfully shameless Fox 10's Sunday-night tie-ins to the latest Mulder and Scully adventure. In... More >>
• Best Public Road Art
  Pima Freeway Public Art Project,
  from Via Linda to Shea Boulevard on Loop 101
  Scottsdale Cultural Council's Public Art Program
  The political shouting over the Squaw Peak pots a decade ago didn't end efforts to beautify Valley stretches of asphalt. And a good thing, too. Ever since "the pots," landscaping and public art have helped to sharpen the appearances of local bahns. So instead of the Berlin walls that other... More >>
• Best Men's Room Kiddy Porn
  Buca di Beppo
  3828 North Scottsdale Road, Scottsdale
  480-949-6622
  Mama pee-a! The men's rest room at this popular Scottsdale family-style trattoria offers black-and-white pics so naughty they'd result in felony charges if posted on the Internet. The dirty dozen or so images feature young Italian boys urinating on alley walls, street poles and into the camera.... More >>
• Best Pipe Dream
  Sheriff Joe Arpaio
  Quizzed about who he'd cast as himself in a proposed made-for-TV movie based on his book America's Toughest Sheriff, Joe Arpaio offered up the names of actors Robert De Niro and Al Pacino. More >>
• Best Place to Find Day Laborers
  Broadway Road and Mesa Drive, Mesa
  Despite the dangers involved in crossing the border to Arizona, illegal immigrants are arriving in hordes. They have little choice -- the average wage of two dollars a day in Mexico just can't cover rent, utilities and food. So they come to Phoenix hoping to find work that will pay a little... More >>
• Best Sign That Scottsdale's Women Have Gone to the Dogs
  The Second Annual Bitches' Weekend
  For decades, Scottsdale's young men have had the 20/30 Club -- a service/social organization designed, as the name implies, for men under 40. But what about the women? We haven't found a comparable "official" group, but we did get an invite last spring to a chick trip that looked way better... More >>
• Best Post-Court Retort
  Former beauty queen Jill Scott
  Grilled by reporters after several felony counts against her were dropped in November, former beauty queen Jill Scott -- an ex-Mrs. America and Mrs. Arizona best known for her appearances on local TV commercials for her ex-husband's Empire Glass windshield replacement company -- talked to the... More >>
• Best Mountain With a Gynecological Term Painted on It
  Double Butte
  Broadway Road, southeast of I-10, Tempe
  Tempe's "A" Mountain is not the city's only painted butte. Head west on Broadway Road, and look south just before you hit the I-10 freeway, to check out the side of Double Butte -- about halfway up. There, just below a white painted cross, is the word "labia" in large letters. We have no idea... More >>
• Best Roadside Tribute to a Dead Singer (1 Comment)
  John Denver memorial stretch of road
  State Route 88, Milepost 197.5 to 199.5
  You've seen them as you drive along, those "Adopt-A-Highway" signs, usually featuring the name of a local anti-litter philanthropist. But even jaded motorists will do a double take at the name emblazoned on several signs near the entrance to the Lost Dutchman State Park. Instead of bearing... More >>