This pious partridge asks for blessings for Darrell Ankarlo, Candy Thomas, and all the other corrupt politicos in Sand Land

"After I agreed to do these book-signings," Ankarlo stated, "I was approached. I did not go to anybody. People came to me and said, 'What do you think? You line up with the ideologies that the county attorney, Andrew Thomas, has regarding illegal immigration in the state of Arizona. Would you have any problems if [the County Attorney's Office] sponsored your book tour?'"

Ankarlo didn't stand on principle. See, it would have taken some scruples to recognize the obvious conflict of interest.

Here's an idea, Darrell. If you want to prove The Bird wrong about you, have your station donate the cash to a worthy cause — say an organization that helps kids orphaned because their parents have been deported. Or you could peel off a few bills of your own for the tykes.

The strangest and saddest part of this mess was hearing Nelson's primary rival, Richard, call in to Ankarlo's show to contradict Nelson and assure Ankarlo that neither he nor KTAR had done anything wrong. It was a desperate attempt to snag some airtime.

Richard should know better. Nelson had scored such a clean hit, showing that Thomas operated outside RICO law.

CORN HOLE

Meet the MCSO's latest high-profile perps: corn and snow cone vendors. Sheriff Joe popped 13 during his most recent anti-immigrant raid (according to ICE), this one in Maryvale.

These poor saps were arrested for the misdemeanor offense of not having the proper permit to sell food from a pushcart. As they're undocumented, Joe's 287g cross-trained goons are likely still leaning on them to sign voluntary departures back to their home countries, if they haven't signed them already.

True to his monicker, Nickel Bag went for the low-hanging fruit, trotting out food inspector Heather Hollister in a white lab coat, as if she had some business being there. But Hollister doesn't work for Maricopa County Environmental Services, the department charged with monitoring the county's health. She works for Joe in some capacity, according to Johnny Diloné, flack for the county health office.

By the way, Diloné says his office never asked for this bogus raid. His boss, Deputy Director John Kolman, said he knew nothing of it until Joe's boys struck. He needn't worry. This latest anti-brown dragnet had nothing to do with public safety, and everything to do with hauling in more HWPs (Hispanics Without Papers).

Lest you had any doubt about that, Joe eviscerated it with his wacky Archie Bunker-esque statements during his press conference.

"Our intelligence shows they get this corn from drophouses — all of these illegals," snorted the county's top porker.

Intelligence? Coming from Joe's yap, that word's oxymoronic (without the oxy part). Illegal corn? Figures. That Green Giant on the can looks like he's a furriner.

Were it not for the fact that these 13 people may never see their families again, Joe's buffoonery might be rib-tickling. But there's also the fact that he wasted 30 deputies on this operation. That's 30 deputies that could've been fighting crime. Plus, the county health office already has inspectors who hand out tickets.

What's really disgusting is that Immigration and Customs Enforcement allows Joe to use his 287g-trained deputies for his corn-vendor patrols. ICE has a formal Memorandum of Agreement with the MCSO on how Joe's allowed to utilize his 160-man-strong, federally empowered force. ICE flack Vinnie Picard claims that ICE monitors Joe's activity, only not closely enough to care about embarrassments like this snow cone sweep.

"When a law enforcement agency calls us and says they have a suspected illegal alien," explained Picard, "we're not evaluating the context of that encounter."

Asked if ICE would ever do a dragnet of corn vendors, Picard got prickly.

"Because we wouldn't use our resources that way doesn't mean it's inappropriate," he told this tweeter. "[Arpaio's] within the confines of the Memorandum of Agreement. He hasn't violated his agreement."

Phoenix activist and attorney Antonio Bustamante disagreed.

"There's not a word in that agreement that talks about corn or taco vendors," Bustamante said. "The agreement does specifically give five or six categories to go after, such as drug traffickers, violent criminals, gang members . . . Doesn't say a thing about people pushing food carts."

But if ICE ever objected to Joe's high-jinks, it wouldn't get the brown bodies and — more importantly — the numbers needed to justify its existence to Congress and a new administration come January.

ICE has picked the biggest thug in law enforcement and supplied him with the largest club imaginable — federal power. When rights are violated and Latinos persecuted in MCSO operations, ICE is just as culpable as Joe.

NEWS BREAK

How is it possible that several journos present at Sheriff Joe's recent book-signing at Biltmore Fashion Park's Borders Books missed the most significant news event that transpired there?

Channel 3, Fox News, even a reporter from the paper of record were on hand as Joe, confronted with a house packed with opponents, opted not to address the crowd and just sign books. But that act of cowardice isn't the news item this nightingale's nattering about.

The Bird refers to the arrest of Anna Gaines, founder of American Citizens United, the nativist group engaged in a futile effort to recall Mayor Phil Gordon.