The Bird praises L. Ron Hubbard, skewers a bladder-challenged bigot and offers a warning to the Big Cactus

Like you needed more proof that immigrant-bashing nativists are low-life garbage. Noted Yosemite Sam impersonator "Buffalo" Rick Galeener was allegedly caught enjoying the pause that refreshes recently in front of some poor lady's house nearby the Macehualli Work Center on 25th Street, just south of Bell Road.

Although there are fast-food restaurants with restrooms a block away on Bell, Galeener allegedly opted to empty his bladder into a plastic bottle just outside Paulita Cortes' home, where he'd parked his truck. A contingent of four or five plainclothes Phoenix police officers is always near the work center to make sure tensions between the jornaleros who wait for day jobs at Macehualli and the armed U.S.A. demonstrators don't turn violent. Cortes was soon hollering for their help.

"My son was running behind me, and I turned to grab his hand," Cortes told The Bird via translator. "And that's when I saw [Galeener] holding his penis with one hand and the bottle with the other."

Cortes yelled. The cops came running, and Galeener was cited for indecent exposure, a class 1 misdemeanor, which carries up to six months in the slammer. According to Sergeant Brian Murray of the police department's Community Relations Bureau, buffalo chip copped to doing number one, but said he was whizzing inside his truck, not outside it. Murray pointed out that whether Galeener was urinating inside or outside his vehicle was irrelevant.

"[Cortes] says she saw his penis," said Murray. "That was her statement. So we just cited him for that. It doesn't matter if he was peeing or not."

Murray also indicated that Galeener may have narrowly escaped a more serious charge.

"If you have a victim that's less than 15, it's a felony," Murray informed this egret. "[Cortes] was an adult. Now, her 2-year-old son was with her. We don't know what he saw or what he did not see. He's only 2 and couldn't articulate what he saw or not."

Both Cortes and Salvador Reza, the operator of the work center, wondered why the police didn't slap the cuffs on Galeener and take him in. They believe that if Galeener had been Mexican, he'd have been placed in stir lickety-split.

Murray insisted Galeener was treated just like anyone else who decides to take a piss at high noon on a city street. Because Galeener had a valid Arizona driver's license, the cops accepted his promise to appear for a preliminary hearing March 18.

There have been two other people cited in minor incidents during the Macehualli face-off, according to police spokeswoman Stacie Derge. Murray denied favoritism's shown to either side. But there's no doubt members of U.S.A. have been making themselves at home, lounging in fold-up chairs, setting up card tables, even hosting a weenie roast on one occasion (no pun intended).

Nor has U.S.A. ever been shy about accepting extremists into its ranks. Both Mesa neo-Nazi J.T. Ready and Mexican flag-burner Laine Lawless have attended U.S.A. meetings and events, as have members of the Tonopah-based separatist group White Knights of America, and racist skinheads such as Damon Ashenfelter.

On February 9, neo-Nazi icon Elton Hall, 74, an organizer for George Lincoln Rockwell's American Nazi Party back in the day, was injured during a two-car collision while standing at his usual post at the corner of 25th and Bell. Hall's been in white power circles so long he's actually mentioned in books on the subject. Nevertheless, Childress' U.S.A. Web site lauded Hall as a "patriot."

The neighborhood surrounding Macehualli wants this ragtag assortment of nutbars out. Businessman Keenan Strand, owner of the McDonald's where Galeener opted not to urinate, organized a neighborhood demo in January asking the protesters to vamoose. But U.S.A. intends to remain at Macehualli indefinitely, forcing the PHX PD to keep detectives on sight and pay overtime for the same cops on weekends.

Certainly, U.S.A. members have their First Amendment rights, as does any gaggle of extremists. But at what point do the residents of that area earn some respite from these wackos, their intimidation tactics, and the odd geezer flashing his wrinkled manhood to a mom and her little kid?

HUBBARD HATERS

There's a soft spot in this wacky warbler's heart for flimflam artists, especially those able to make a mint off their cons, like the late, great founder of the Church of Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard, who's famous for saying, "If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion."