Rusty's World

Apparently, Butch has been assigned the job of digging up dirt on this ornery oriole. What has this white-trash version of Columbo "uncovered"? All the stuff from The Bird's freelancing heyday in La-La Land, when he simultaneously wrote for New Times L.A. , salon.com, the L.A. Times, While You Were Sleeping, Hustler, and a now-inactive online pub called gettingit.com. This winged wordsmith penned everything from a regular series called "Cooking with the Porn Stars" to a profile on the mesmerizing Pommela de Terre, who carved stunning likenesses of her models' male appendages from Idaho spuds. Yes, this parakeet did "pose" for Pommela. Only wish she'd had a bigger potato to work with, though she said (sigh . . .) she didn't need one.

But since Rusty and his lackeys are trying to make hay of these articles in letters to New Times advertisers, may this devilish dove point out that Rusty's certainly been no saint. His site, rustychildress.com, features a series of photos from several trips to Mardi Gras, in which ribald Russ captured numerous flashing femmes on Bourbon Street, including one of a woman exposing her vagina. There's also a pic of Rusty with a topless chick that's tagged "Jamaica Hedonism," an apparent reference to one of a couple of clothing-optional Jamaican resorts that are, as wikipedia.org relates, "well-known for the liberal sexual, drug, and alcohol attitudes of the guests."

Not that this earth-scratcher's against pics of naked chicks. In fact, The Bird's blogging twin, Feathered Bastard, features a sample of Rusty's ripsnortin' snaps — along with links to this plumed penman's randy writings of yore.

Pot calling the kettle a blackbird? Decide for yourself whether the Kia-peddler/bigot's the hypocrite he appears to be.

CHILL LIKE FLYNT

Whenever The Bird's First Amendment hero Larry Flynt's in the Zona for a public appearance, this feisty finch makes a beeline for wherever he's parked his gold-plated wheelchair to pay respects.

The Sultan of Skank was at the Tempe location of his Hustler Hollywood Store the other day to help porn queen Tera Patrick promote her new DVD with Hustler, titled InTERActive. And though Flynt probably doesn't know Rusty Childress from a rusty wrench, he did have hypocrites on the brain, mainly because Flynt's battled them all his life.

"I see hypocrisy as a serious threat to democracy," explained Flynt in his trademark Kentucky drawl. "It's not that I want to expose somebody's sex life. I'm for privacy in that area, and I've always advocated it. A lot of people attack me by saying, 'All you want is to expose their sex lives.' That's not true. We want to try to get hypocrisy out of Congress."

Flynt was speaking of his full-page June ad in the Washington Post announcing a million-dollar reward for proof of a sexual indiscretion with a member of Congress or a high government official. A similar ad published in 1998 led to the political downfall of Representative Bob Livingston, shortly before he was to become Speaker of the U.S. House.

Flynt says Hustler's received about 250 leads so far from the new ad, many of them dead ends.

"We've got about 10 leads that are really good," said the porn potentate, a sly smile on his kisser. "We're definitely going to be releasing something in early fall."

Flynt confirmed that two items involve closeted gay Republicans who've voted against gay-friendly legislation. He denied that he's after only Republicans but admitted they're "so much more fun" because they're more repressed.

This rotund robin recalled the fact that Flynt actually ran in the Republican Presidential Primary against Ronald Reagan, but Flynt laughed that off.

"That wasn't a serious campaign," Flynt recalled. "In '84, he was running unopposed [in the GOP primary]. I said I want to run against Reagan because I'm wealthy, I'm white, and I've been shot for what I believe in."

Flynt was paralyzed from the waist down in 1978 when a white supremacist angered by an interracial photo spread in Hustler ambushed him and his lawyer outside a Georgia courthouse. And while the New Times-hating Childress organization's welcomed at least one white supremacist at its meetings, Flynt advised The Bird to carry on.

Why? Because of the First Amendment that Flynt fought for in his epic legal battle against televangelist Jerry Falwell. In that case, the U.S. Supreme Court denied Falwell damages against Hustler, which had run a parody of a Campari ad in which the preacher describes having sex with his mother in an outhouse.

While Flynt had other than altruistic reasons for battling Falwell, the case's guaranteed the press freedom to lampoon public figures, even if those famous people are distressed by the satire.

"Falwell fought me 15 years in court, and I hated him," the porn magnate said. "But after I got to know him, it wasn't that he wasn't sincere. He was sincere. He was just misguided."

MAUPIN MEET